i realy hate it when phil has to go out to the field. its not that i cant handle my kids, because i can... thats not even an issue. but heres the thing: when you are a military mom, you are lonely but never alone. i always have my kids and they are great, but i miss having another person to converse with. marcus is so cute. he says little sentences and words but its not enough to make me feel like im not lonely anymore. i think maybe its harder with this whole postpartum thing and im trying to deal with it all without meds so its a little more frustrating.

our family left a couple of weeks ago, and its been really sucky without them here. life was so much more fun with them here. i felt like there was more than just going through the day. i miss josh and debbie so much since they've been gone. it just makes me want to go home to arizona and never come bac to north dakota. its still september and its only 50 degrees outside... i hate it. im an arizona girl and i need my scorching heat!

its nap time. thank god.